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Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/23/07 09:34:27 AM Age 39, CO
Mrs. Bure, Thank you for your article. I completely and totally agree. I have begun doing some writing regarding submission for friends who have asked about the subject. You mentioned some of the verses, but there are so many more in the Bible. I think the one that is the scariest for women is where God says, "Your desire will be for your husband and he will RULE over you." Genesis 3:16b (NKJV) It is by design that the husband is to rule over the wife. Women are being brainwashed in our culture today to believe the opposite of that verse. Once I began to submit to my husband our relationship has been wonderful, not without it's difficulties, but wonderful. I appreciate you standing up for truth.
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/12/07 09:08:50 PM Age 19, VA
Gender is a social construct, physical sexuality has little to no effect on personality. How can we say that because of the shape of ones genitals that a relationship must involve certain roles? people are unique, relationships are unique, this prescribing of roles is just a source of heartache and angst.
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  1. Can you say sexism?
    Posted On: 12/31/07 06:05:57 PMAge 22, NY
    Actually what distinguishes the sexes is the last pair of chromosomes, which take the form of XX for female and XY for female. But aside from that, I have to say that it's because of the perspective perpetuated by Candace Cameron (tracing back to woman being blamed for the fall of man) that women are treated as second-class citizens. Would you be happier if women were not allowed the vote? Is it right to pay women less for doing the same job? Of course it's inhuman, and Candace is not doing anything to correct this wrong. Submissive is indeed a nine-letter word rather than a four-letter word, but that does not make it any less offensive.
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  2. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 10/02/07 04:09:48 AMAge 48, KY
    I grew up in a time when "gender" as "social construct" was being force fed to every woman, everywhere. Nothing could be further from the truth -- borne out since I am raising two sons who are so different from my 2 sisters and me ever were. Denying that one's sex is unimportant to personality is dismissive on a scale that can only be described as delusional. Sex, ordained by God, obviously entails much more than genitalia.
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  3. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 03/13/07 12:33:25 PMAge 44, TX
    The prescribing of roles was done by the very One who made the shape of things the way He did - intentionally. Can we deny that the woman has the role of having the baby? Could the man possibly do such? No, because the woman was made special by the LORD and part of her role is to bare children (wo-man = man with a womb). See Titus 2 for more on the role of women. The Bible addresses men and women distinctly and often (Prov. 14:1; 1 Cor. 7; Titus 2; Eph. 5:21-30, 1 Pet. 3:1-8; etc.) God's blessings to you. www.SafeGuardYourSoul.com
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/12/07 05:58:44 PM Age 54, WA
For centuries, women have been controlled with burning, beheaded, sexual mutilation and crippling, for crimes as small as wearing the wrong clothing, or simply talking back. In the United States, this is no longer the legal case. Males still attempt to control women with fear -- abuse, rape, etc. But it is not legal. The religious leaders attempt to control women with their religions. That may be legal -- but religious groups must be observed closely to assure these leaders are not promoting repression of female citizens. That danger always exists. The Christian Worldview Network is certainly skating very close to the legal limits of treating women as second-class citizens. Sites like Christian WorldView are a good place to go to monitor religions, and keep them from harming my rights as a woman.
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  1. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 03/15/07 03:56:17 PMAge 28, MD
    You wrote: "The Christian Worldview Network is certainly skating very close to the legal limits of treating women as second-class citizens." How so? Please give specific examples instead of merely pointing fingers. Christianity teaches this: "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."-Ephesians 5:28 A true Christian man strives to live up to this command. He is considerate of his wife and cares for her, loving her just as he does his own body. But perhaps the biggest thing you seem to have missed is this: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"-Ephesians 5:25 Jesus Christ cared so much for his church that he laid down his life in a loving sacrifice to save her. Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives this much! Not that every husband will have to give up his life for his wife, but that is how deep his love for his wife should be! Here's more: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."-Colossians 3:19 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."-1 Peter 3:7 Are you starting to get a clearer picture? God has ordained our roles in marriage, and when both partners are fulfilling our parts, marriage is a beautiful thing. It is so much easier for a man to love his wife when his wife is respecting him, and vice versa. I am a woman, too, who will celebrate with my husband our 5 year wedding anniversary next month and I believe that Candace's article was very well done!
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    1. Re: Re: Re: Submissive is a real word in a real dictionary
      Posted On: 04/01/07 08:25:46 PMAge 19, AL
      You can't have it both ways. Either man and woman are equal to each other, or they are not. Semantics will not change that, and you know it. My dog is in submission to me. We are not equal. As soon as we are equal, he is no longer submissive. Religious women remind me of brainwashed masochists. "Oh honey, I just can't cope with these worldly decisions, you decide!" Grow up. Oh, and I demand you respect my beliefs, just like you insist on everyone respecting yours. Or are you somehow better than everyone else?
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/09/07 04:06:54 PM Age 24, KY
Good article and definitely something needed in our culture! Another GREAT book I try to get for all of my Christian friends getting married is: Feminine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother, by Carolyn Mahaney Also, check out the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood at cbmw.org
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  1. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 03/13/07 12:36:51 PMAge 44, TX
    the organization called the counsel for biblical manhood/womanhoo is addressed in this article....interesting....ARE WOMEN INNOCENT VICTIMS? by Carol Tharp Almy, M.D. http://www.safeguardyoursoul.com/html/are_women_innocent_victims_.html
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  2. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 03/13/07 12:35:05 PMAge 44, TX
    ARE WOMEN INNOCENT VICTIMS? by Carol Tharp Almy, M.D. http://www.safeguardyoursoul.com/html/are_women_innocent_victims_.html
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/08/07 05:58:22 PM Age 39, MS
I totally agree with what you said, but I disagree with your endorsement of Created to Be His Help Meet by Debbie Pearl. She has a lot of great, solid biblical truth, but mixed in, she adds some of her own opinions that confuse people and puts them into bondage, and even dangerous situations. She thinks that everything is up to the woman, and if anything is wrong, it is the woman's fault. Depending on the personality and situation of the reader, after reading that book, a wife may feel empowered and encouraged to manipulate their husbands, or they may feel horribly guilty for anything and everything that goes wrong in their family, because they are told that everything is up to them and their submission and behavior. I don't have my notes that I took about the book with me, but another thing I can remember is how unimportant the children were supposed to be treated. They were basically forsaken so that the man could be pampered more. There was one place in the book where she advised a woman to go back into a seriously life threatening situation. It turned out good in the book, but that may end up getting people killed. Let me know if I need to get my notes and make specific page references.
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/08/07 03:39:39 AM Age 65, NE
Excellent article. This comes from a man who has been married fourty years to a wonderful woman. This issue has never come up with us. Why? I'm not sure - could it be because we both love the Lord and love each other? The only times I can think of where we had stress is when I failed to act decisivly. When I saw that we had gone the wrong way, I did not blame her for making a wrong decision - I appologized to her for my own failure to take action. I guess what I'm saying is that what you have said is good - but there needs to be balance - that is - the husband needs to hold up his end - love his wife - and not be a wuss.
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/07/07 09:11:12 PM Age 54, AL
Candace, I am so happy finally that someone has put the difference between the sexes on the table where it belongs. Too frequently today's society pretends that men and women are "the same," and that there is no difference between husband and wife. And yet as Jesus reminds us, this diversity is part of the beauty of our spiritual community. But I would like to add a modest request regarding the message board, if I may? All of the postees are referred to only by age and location. Yet is this as important as knowing whether the postee is really Steve or is in fact Sheila? It would help me greatly in reading these responses to bear in mind the identity of the writer. As in marriage, men's and women's roles in discussion too must differ. If you do not think it wise to at least include first names, I hope you will at least consider indicating (perhaps through color-coded type?) the gender. Again, thank you for your spiritual work in these pages. You are a blessing!
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/07/07 09:21:09 AM Age 71, NJ
I was married for 40 years to a functioning alcoholic. He was also a bully. When he died 10 years ago, I felt free for the first time in my life. Our family (4 children) pretty much submitted to him in most things just to avoid his rage if he didn't get his own way. He was always around 16 years old emotionally. But, in hindsight, I'm glad I went along rather than break up my family. The major deterrent in today's culture is that there are not enough MEN to actually assume the role of leader. Too many of today's wives and mothers have to assume both roles if the family is going to survive.
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  1. Re: Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
    Posted On: 06/12/07 11:28:06 AMAge 31, CA
    I am writing this to the lady who submitted to her alcoholic husband. Thank you for hanging in there in those very difficult times. I was raised in a home with an alcoholic mother. So I know the feelings associated with that. But I am writing because my pastor's wife shared this past Sunday about her grandmother submitting to her alcoholic husband for years. She did it out of obedience to God, and was blessed by it. She was full of joy and peace. Even when her husband hawked her wedding ring to buy more alcohol. So, as hard as it may be to submit to your husband, whether he is drunk or sober, God will bless you.
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/07/07 08:49:30 AM Age 59, MN
Another excellant source on this subject is "Me Obey Him" by Elizabeth Rice Handford. This book was recommended by Elizabeth Elliott and served me well.
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Re: Submissive Is NOT a Four Letter Word
Posted On: 03/06/07 09:56:35 PM Age 39, NV
Amen! You have adequately and correctly described what a Chrisitan wife can do for a Godly husband, both in positive and negative aspects. As another reader put it, you should consider some form of education on this subject for other Christian women. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head!
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