Posted: 11/08/07

Verbal Abuse

Kerby Anderson

Of all the radio programs I have done and all of the articles I have written, I regularly receive more e-mails on one topic than any other. That subject is verbal abuse. I am always receiving e-mails from women (and some men) about a verbally abusive relationship they are in and have come across the material on the Probe website.

Perhaps you are in such a relationship or know someone who is in a verbally abusive relationship. It is also possible that no one even knows your circumstances or you have a friend and do not know what he or she is going through. Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn't leave evidence comparable to the bruises of physical battering. You (or your friend) may be suffering in silence and isolation.

Sometimes when someone reads my list of characteristics of a verbally abusive relationship, the light goes on. For the first time, that person realizes what has been taking place and now has a name for it. But recognizing it and doing something about it are often two different things. What should you do?

The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of an angry person. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man." And Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."

It is not God's will for you (or your friend) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those angry and critical words will destroy your confidence and self-esteem. Being submissive in a marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. But it does not teach that they must allow themselves to be verbally or physically abused.

If you (or your friend) are being verbally abused, do something about it. Contact your pastor or trusted friend and get help. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

I'm Kerby Anderson, and that's my point of view.

By Kerby Anderson Click here for bio and archived articles