Posted: 01/31/07

It's 911 Time for Christian Girlhood

I won't waste time trying to convince you that the death rattle of our once strong American society is getting louder. Let me just say that in every corner of our culture, there are signs that we are in a death spiral as a nation. Whether we look at our nation's public schools, bristling with security to keep kids from killing each other, the dance of despair carried out by Sodom's children in the media every night, the postmodern absurdity of today's art galleries that display things like unmade beds or used prophylactic devices and call them profound, or the sheer moral squalor that leers at us from the magazine racks at the grocery store, the decay is amply evident. 

One of the casualties of our culture's rejection of God has been womanhood. A women's movement that at one time fought for equal protection under the law for women, rights to custody of their own children and property ownership now is responsible for 18-year-old former cheerleaders being sent into combat in Iraq. The basic courtesies that used to be shown to women in public were abandoned decades ago. Girls are not taught how to care for their husbands and homes, they are put into sports leagues early on and taught how to ''kick some butt'', as one father put it. Girls need to learn how to fight and compete in this dog eat dog world, they say. Girls are expected to have a career track outside the home, and they are asked from early on what it is they want to ''be''. The styles and fashions point to a near total abandonment of modesty as power and instead, girls are taught that their sexuality is their power. That's why soft, feminine and modest clothing is unlikely to make a comeback in the girls and junior departments any time soon. To be feminine and modest is read as weakness and vulnerability today. Whereas once, womanhood was thought to be something worthy of male protection and respect, women are now one of the guys, with some highly flaunted anatomical differences. Rather than see sexuality as sacred and private, women have believed the lies of the media and see it as a tool to control and dominate.

Into this toxic culture come our young Christian girls. By all appearances, many Christian parents are taking their cues and their child rearing philosophy from the world. Other than within homes where there is a purposeful intent to teach otherwise, many Christian girls live in a fashion that is hard to distinguish from the world. Smaller families have meant less of an opportunity for girls to learn how to be mothers. Rather than girls growing up being tutored by watching their mothers care for home and family, girls are more likely to grow up while mom works outside the home. Like secular middle-class counterparts, Christian homes and families center their lives around their kids' activities. Chances for a young girl to help care for the home or be a consistent help to her mother are few and far between. Life is often about keeping the kids happy while valuable lessons are lost in the scheduling shuffle.

So how should Christian girls differ from the unsaved counterparts? Their entire worldview should be different. This means that exposing girls to a lot of secular television, including the Disney Channel, warps their perspective on what it is to be a young lady. One Christian girl confided that she had watched the Disney movie, ''High School Musical'' countless times. She giggled that she was ''kinda boy crazy.''  The problem with this is that ''High School Musical'' represents life utterly without God. There is humanism at its core and a fleshly, carnal view of life's purpose. This philosophy is at complete odds with our true reason for living-to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. When children are at tender ages, these messages are driven home. The entertainment we allow in our homes must comport with what the children are learning from Scripture or the message is canceled out.

Secondly, a Christian girl is a useful one. Idleness is one of the biggest contributors not only to moral problems, but to things like obesity. I believe there's a direct correlation between the advent of the Internet and the epidemic of weight problems among the young. Girls are leaving school and their peer packs only to get home and spend inordinate amounts of time instant messaging their friends online. Christian girls can and should make better use of their time. As a mother, I have tried to involve my daughter in house work from early on. (Our son does his share as well.) When a parent begins training at a young age, the girl doesn't think there's anything strange about doing a load of laundry or mopping the kitchen floor. Try to introduce this at 16 and see what happens.

A friend recently told me how she had been ill for several days. The family had several younger children and their oldest was a 15-year-old daughter. This home schooled girl literally took over for her mother, helping with the little ones, seeing that supper was on the table and that things were picked up around the house. The daughter was a competent and confidant young woman because she had been taught well. Rather than lie in bed, feeling guilty at being ill, the mother could relax and know that needs in the home were being met. She had earned her own rest. There are many homes where the outcome would have been very different. Self-absorbed, selfish and untrained in womanly arts, many teen girls would have turned to her dad and demanded that he hit the local drive-through window, instead. We expect too little from our girls today and the failure to teach and train our daughters as mothers can have generational consequences. The homes of our grandchildren will be determined by the character and teaching we mothers instill in our daughters. If girls are raised on television, teen magazines, popular music and their peers, they will be unprepared to be Christian wives and mothers who will run their own homes with godliness and gravity. They will be a burden to whatever husband marries them. Their children will be deeply affected by the atmosphere they create in their own homes.

Scripture describes the model of older women teaching younger women. How many modern evangelical churches actively encourage mentoring by older women of the girls and young women in the congregation? How much godly wisdom and knowledge is being wasted because of our obsession with age segregation in churches today? Churches are being disobedient to God's Word when they fail to facilitate intergenerational ministry in the lives of young women.

Let the world carry on with its own sad travesty of girlhood. We as Christian parents should pray for our daughters, that we would raise them faithfully---not as the tragic girls of Sodom, but as handmaidens of the Lord, ready and willing to use their hands for good.

By Ingrid Schlueter Email: vcyproducer@aol.com Click here for bio and archived articles